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Not a girl the way you want a girl



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At this point, pretty sure no one I know uses this. Or reads their friends list.

So here goes some stuff.

Interestingly enough, as I browse my FB feed, I remember how it used to be before the world got into computers. I remember Sean always searching for things, and finding random fun things to share. Never thought about where he saw all this stuff. How did people do those things back in the early 2000's. Now there are things like Reddit, and Imgur, or whatever other sites people look at for links. Fascinating to see how far we have come in a very short period of time.

Reading old entries again. Seeing the patterns of my life with some hindsight. Like, wow for most of the time after Sean and I broke up...I seemed to just wait for guys. Wait for them to text, call, make plans. I would just wait around till I heard from them. I wonder if I always did that. Do all women do that? Do guys? Or was it just me and even with my independence, I still waited. None of them were worth it. Not really. Half of them, I don't even recall what it was like to be around them. Mostly awkward.

And now...after spending years traveling, off and on...I sit in my house. MY house, and house I have bought with my partner...my fiance. I am fucking getting married! Its exciting and different. And tonight, because of late I guess, I can't sleep. I lay there trying...and then I think, why? Why not just get up? Who cares? You will be fine for work tomorrow. Its late in the day, and you can get many things on your list done before that. Just have to do it. Which I know I can.

But I lay their anyways. Worried. Worried that my recent emotional state might have made my interactions with people lately a little weird. Or worried about having kids in my house and working from home.

All I want right now is a CD that I know is at my parents house. I wish I had it here. In my house.

Glad to see the moods haven't changed...Ha!
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