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Not a girl the way you want a girl

miles and miles away.

miles and miles away.

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Alec left this morning. His flight took off at 5:45 am. I am still up...working on my room. organizing myself, getting rid of stuff, and making it my own space again so i am not crying all the time. i am going to miss that boy like crazy. hell i already do and its been like 2 hours. but i bet i only miss him that much because he's not coming back until...um...i don't know, and neither does he.

We decided to stay together. We opened our relationship so that neither of us feel retrained or anything. But the label is there, and so is the relationship. Honestly as of now, i don't really want to date or really start anything. hells yes i am a flirt. and i will probably always be one. but this i know, i love Alec, and i really don't want anyone else.

Leaving for Denmark on the 25th of August, which is why Alec going to Mexico is also a good thing. Because then we are both working toward something of our own, but we can still share it all with each other. Sure I'll be in Denmark for an academic school year, but i am going to Denmark for the experience not to meet anyone. well i mean romantically, and i don't want to.

sigh, i miss him already, i feel slightly odd about that. i think it makes sense, but another part of me feels silly. even if no one else knew what our relationship was like, i do, and it just makes sense. we make sense, and we work well together. and i am excited for when we will see each other again.


on Saturday night Alec and i went to see polyphonic spree. it was amazing! it was a jolt to my soul. that band just exudes light. listening to them, watching them, etc. i feel that the experience was one like no other. and it just has put me in a good place. even during all this craziness. having Alec there meant a lot to me, and made it all that more special.

will i ever get sleep?!
i am supposed to go to a pot luck for Bri and Alisha's b day. i missed vince and travis's short notice b day extravaganza, as well as b and a's karaoke short notice b day extravaganza. all for time with Alec, i hope all parties understand that. i mean otherwise you couldn't had stopped me from attending these events.
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